Ones and Zeros East

the triumph of intellect and romance over brute force and cynicism

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The Politics of Dancing...
The state of Texas is poised to play "double or nothing" with marriage license fees: nothing if you take a state-approved "marriage class" and double if you don't want to spend 8 hours on a Saturday listening to someone tell you how to be married in conservonormative terms. The proponents are sure an industry will bloom to offer such classes, and cite defensive driving classes and schools as their model.

Hey, the biggest windfall winners from defensive driving classes were comedy clubs and comedians.

So, Comedy Defense of Marriage Class is probably the first step. The Lege may not like the competition, of course, but it's a different kind of comedy than the state house normally produces, so maybe there's room for both...

However, in Houston there are a large number of businesses that are in need of a cash and business infusion due to recent legal obstacles put up by the city. Those would be the sexually oriented businesses of our fair city. These small, taxpaying businesses are hurting, and this bill can help.
  • Executive Adult Video Superstore can rent DVDs of the 8 hour class.

  • Centerfolds could offer "private marriage lessons" in the VIP room.

  • Rick's could have a "two for one" night.

  • Caligula XXI could have a "repeat marriage discount" for customers who came back for classes for marriage number two or more.

  • Treasures could offer a combo package that includes a bachelor party.

  • The Men's Club could offer guarantees: Stay married for one year, or your next one's free!

  • The city's many escort services could provide call-out marriage classes.

The mind reels with possibilities.

The only catch is that if the Sexually Oriented Businesses become educational institutions, they might have to move so as not to be within 1500 feet of themselves.

[And honestly? I'd love to see a SOB try this route just to watch the reaction...]

You've had some brilliant ideas in your time. This one may be the best. I love it.

Kuff brought this back up recently. Maybe your friends in the comedy troupe could do something with this idea.


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